Parenting is a journey, but when you’re raising a SEND or disabled child, you quickly realise you’re on a different road.
It’s not a detour or a bump in the path, it’s an entirely different path, with its own landscapes, challenges, and unexpected beauty.
Sometimes, I wonder what it would be like to walk the “typical” road, where weekends would include taking my child to football practice or dance class, sitting on the sidelines, and watching him shine.
To chat with other parents about school projects or weekend plans without the undercurrent of worry and exhaustion.
To wave goodbye at the door of a birthday party, knowing they’ll be included, safe, and understood.
But this? This is my road. And while it’s tougher, more complex, and often lonely, it’s filled with its own moments of incredible strength and love.
💜 Parenting with Layers Most Don’t See
Parenting a SEND or disabled child means living with layers upon layers of responsibility:
• Appointments, assessments, and therapies that never stop.
• Advocating constantly
Even joyful things, like a simple day out; often come with planning, anxiety, and backup plans.
☀️ Behaviour That’s Misunderstood
Behaviour isn’t just behaviour.
Meltdowns aren’t tantrums. Silence isn’t rudeness. Running away isn’t disobedience.
What others see in five minutes, I’ve spent years decoding, supporting, understanding.
☀️ The Hidden Grief
There’s a quiet grief that sits beside the love.
Not grief for your child, but grief for the ease, the freedom, the “ordinary” moments you imagined parenting would bring.
There’s grief when you see kids making friends effortlessly.
When birthday invitations are scarce.
You love your child ferociously, and still feel the ache of what society makes harder.
☀️ Impact on You
This kind of parenting changes everything:
• Your career may be paused or restructured.
• Your friendships shift, not everyone understands or sticks around.
• Your own mental health often takes a back seat, even when it’s waving a red flag.
☀️You’re not “just a parent.”
You become a translator, advocate, project manager, crisis responder, and still your child’s safe space .
💜 But There Is Beauty
There’s beauty, too.
In the way you learn to notice the smallest wins.
In the way your child teaches you patience, presence, and courage.
In the depth of connection you build, because love here is not transactional. It’s fought for and fiercely protected.
You see strength in your child others miss. You hold emotions in both hands — love and exhaustion, hope and grief, and keep going.
💜 The SEN Road
So no, this isn’t parenting with a few extra hurdles.
It’s another road entirely — beautiful, rugged, and often walked alone.
If you’re on this road too:
You’re not imagining the weight.
You’re not weak for feeling tired.
You’re not alone.
You’re parenting on another level.